Tuesday, 26 January 2016

5 Signs Of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Summary: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by a strong sense of entitlement, complete self-centeredness and a need for constant admiration and adulation.

Narcissistic personalities lack empathy, have a super-human capacity for manipulation and often control and manipulate those around them often resorting to mental abuse and emotional blackmail tactics that are so well disguised they remain off the standard radar of human perception. 

Here are 5 signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder: 

Lacks Genuine empathy 

Narcissists lack genuine feelings of empathy, though many of them do tend to act it out. However, this is usually behavior learned from other people’s responses and is not authentic. Empathy is the ability to relate to how something makes another person feel emotionally. Narcissistic personalities are unable to “put themselves in someone else’s shoes”, so to speak. 

Acts manipulative & exploitative 

NPD’s are masters of deception and invisibility and may resort to using ruthless tactics and stepping on other people, in order to get what they want.
If they don’t get what they want then you will mostly likely either feel their wrath or will be subject to the silent treatment. Alternatively, if in a relationship with a narcissist, sex may be withheld as punishment or provided as reward. 

Displays arrogance, superiority and self-importance 

Narcissistic personalities feel like they are a part of a group of highly privileged people who are superior to everyone else. They believe they are better than everybody else, they know more than anyone else and they always know best, no matter how skewed their worldview is. Due to their lack of empathy, they believe it’s other people’s faults for falliing prey to their abuse/lies/deception/exploitation and therefore they are not to blame for behaving in such a way. 

Always thinks about how things relate to them and no-one else 

Self-centeredness is different to selfishness. When a narcissistic personality talks about their life, they make regular use of the words “I”, “me” and “mine”, often using them when they should be using the terms “us”, “we” or “our”. Additionally, narcissists always think about how situations affect themselves but not how they affect others. Their focus is constantly on the self. 

Obsessed with upholding their false self 

NPD’s obsessively portray themselves to the outside world to be good, caring, genuine, honest people and want people to believe they are “as good as gold” and that “they wouldn’t hurt a fly”. In effect, this is a projection to cover the manipulation, exploition and deceit that truly happens behind the scenes. Additionally, many “elite” narcissists regularly make donations to charity.
It should be noted that these behaviors are pathological, they are deep-rooted in the subconscious and work to form an invisible, protective, virtually impenetrable exterior which acts as a defense mechanism.
[ Image from Pixabay – Public Domain – http://pixabay.com/users/geralt/ ]

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

The Overwhelming Conscience Of A Narcissist

You could easily be forgiven for believing that just like a psychopath, a narcissist has no conscience either and on the face of things it usually does very much seem like this is the case. However, a narcissist (someone inflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or any other form of malignant narcissism) does not suppress their guilt or shame in the same way that a sociopath/psychopath would.

Whilst it seems like a narcissist has control over their conscience, the truth is that they usually suffer with an overwhelming but well disguised conscience and they experience such high levels of shame and guilt that they find them unbearable and too emotionally painful to cope with. They do not openly display these emotions and just like they do with their thoughts and their deepest secrets, narcissists keep their feelings covert and under cover. However, unlike a psychopath (some of whom are capable of literally 'switching on' and 'switching off' their empathy at will), this is often a gradual process which happens in cycles over time. It can, however, also happen over the course of a night or two.

Due to the fact that narcissists ignore and suppress their true feelings of guilt and shame, this can often give the impression that they are completely devoid of emotion and they may often appear to be in a zombie-like trance. In actual fact, the opposite is the case. Their feelings are so strong, so powerful and so painful to deal with that they put them to the side and hope that those emotions fade as they force themselves to forget about the memories associated with the events that caused those emotions in the first place. They do so by simply choosing not to think about or remember those events. Such events could involve emotional blackmail, psychological abuse, one-night stands, secret affairs and/or something more extreme.

The easiest and best way for a narcissist to bypass their conscience is by ignoring their feelings (and associated memories) of guilt and shame in the day and by sleeping them off in the night and whenever else they can. If they have committed a particularly shameful act, they may keep people at length emotionally and may begin to sleep excessively until their conscience fades. For smaller shameful acts, they may sleep for one night then attempt to put their feelings of shame and guilt behind them and treat the next day like a fresh new start... until next time.

[ Image: John Hain at Pixabay - Public Domain - https://pixabay.com/en/self-criticism-thoughts-judgements-440303/ ]